The Gottman Method: Building Stronger Relationships for Busy Executives and Entrepreneurs
In the fast-paced world of business leadership, maintaining a thriving personal relationship often takes a back seat to professional demands. As someone who has navigated both corporate leadership as an SVP and the delicate dynamics of family business, I understand firsthand how challenging it can be to nurture your most important relationship while managing high-pressure careers.
This is why I'm passionate about bringing the evidence-based Gottman Method to executives, entrepreneurs, and power couples across North Texas. As a Gottman Certified therapist (Level I and II), I've witnessed how these practical, research-backed approaches can transform relationships—even for the busiest professionals.
What is the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method is based on over 40 years of research by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, who studied thousands of couples to understand what makes relationships succeed or fail. Their approach isn't based on theory or opinion, but on concrete data about what actually works in real relationships.
What makes the Gottman Method particularly valuable for high-achieving professionals is its practical, skills-based approach. Rather than endless sessions exploring feelings (though that has its place), the Gottman Method provides actionable strategies that busy executives and entrepreneurs can implement immediately.
The Four Pillars of a Healthy Relationship
The Gottman Method identifies four key components that create the foundation for a successful relationship. I've found these particularly relevant for my clients who are balancing demanding careers with their personal lives:
1. Build Love Maps
For busy professionals, it's easy to lose touch with your partner's inner world. Building Love Maps means staying current with each other's stresses, hopes, joys, and values—even when your calendar is packed with meetings.
One CEO client shared: "I realized I knew everything about my company's quarterly goals but couldn't name my wife's current work challenges. Learning to prioritize regular check-ins about her life has completely changed our connection."
2. Share Fondness and Admiration
The antidote to criticism and contempt is cultivating a culture of appreciation. This is especially important for achievement-oriented individuals who may unconsciously bring a performance evaluation mindset home.
Expressing specific appreciation—"I admire how thoughtfully you handled that discussion with our son"—creates a buffer of positivity that helps relationships withstand stress and conflict.
3. Turn Toward Instead of Away
Small moments of connection matter more than grand gestures. The Gottman research shows that successful couples "turn toward" each other's bids for connection 86% of the time.
For entrepreneurs and executives who are constantly making decisions, simply putting down the phone when your partner speaks or asking a follow-up question can make the difference between connection and distance.
4. Maintain a Positive Perspective
When we're stressed, it's easy to view our partner's actions through a negative lens. The Gottman Method helps couples maintain a positive perspective, even during difficult times—a skill that translates well to the business world too.
The Gottman Method for High-Achievers: Why It Works
As someone who has walked in both the corporate and family business worlds, I've tailored my Gottman-based approach to address the unique challenges facing high-performing professionals:
Managing Stress Together
Research shows that 69% of relationship problems are perpetual—they won't be "solved" but can be managed. This parallels what many executives already know about business challenges, making the concept accessible. The Gottman techniques provide clear methods for navigating these ongoing issues without becoming overwhelmed.
Efficient Communication
The Gottman Method teaches specific communication protocols that help couples express needs clearly and resolve conflicts effectively—perfect for time-pressed professionals who value efficiency.
Data-Driven Approaches
For analytical minds, the research-backed nature of the Gottman Method provides credibility. These aren't just nice ideas; they're strategies proven to work across thousands of couples.
Work-Life Integration
Rather than the elusive "work-life balance," I help couples achieve work-life integration, where success in one area supports rather than detracts from the other.
How Gottman Techniques Help Professional Couples Thrive
Let me share how Gottman techniques have helped some of my clients (with details changed for confidentiality):
The Tech Entrepreneur Couple Sarah and James both ran successful startups, but their relationship was suffering from competing priorities and poor communication. Using Gottman tools, they created structured "State of the Union" meetings each week—applying their business planning skills to their relationship. Within months, they reported not just a happier marriage but improved leadership at work as their emotional intelligence grew.
The Corporate Executive and Family Business Owner Michael (CFO at a major corporation) and Linda (who ran her family's third-generation business) struggled with resentment over whose career took precedence. Through Gottman exercises focusing on shared meaning and life dreams, they developed a unified vision for their future that honored both paths. Their newfound ability to support each other's ambitions strengthened both their marriage and their respective leadership roles.
Bringing Mindfulness to Your Relationship
As my clients know, I believe in integrating mindfulness with relationship work. The Gottman Method complements this beautifully by emphasizing present-moment awareness during interactions. When you're truly present with your partner—even for just fifteen minutes a day—you create space for meaningful connection despite busy schedules.
Remember, you have 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts racing through your mind daily, and 95% of those thoughts are repetitive! By developing awareness of these thought patterns, you gain the freedom to choose how you respond to your partner rather than reacting automatically.
Your Next Steps
If you're an executive, entrepreneur, or part of a power couple seeking to strengthen your relationship while maintaining your professional momentum, I invite you to explore how the Gottman Method can transform your connection.
As someone who understands both the boardroom and the living room, I'm passionate about helping you create a life where both your business and relationships flourish together. You don't have to choose between professional success and personal fulfillment—with the right tools, you can create a life of meaning and connection in both domains.
To learn more about how Gottman-based couples therapy might help your specific situation, I invite you to schedule a consultation. Together, we'll explore practical, evidence-based approaches to help you and your partner thrive—both individually and as a couple.In the fast-paced world of business leadership, maintaining a thriving personal relationship often takes a back seat to professional demands. As someone who has navigated both corporate leadership as an SVP and the delicate dynamics of family business, I understand firsthand how challenging it can be to nurture your most important relationship while managing high-pressure careers.
This is why I'm passionate about bringing the evidence-based Gottman Method to executives, entrepreneurs, and power couples across North Texas. As a Gottman Certified therapist (Level I and II), I've witnessed how these practical, research-backed approaches can transform relationships—even for the busiest professionals.
What is the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method is based on over 40 years of research by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, who studied thousands of couples to understand what makes relationships succeed or fail. Their approach isn't based on theory or opinion, but on concrete data about what actually works in real relationships.
What makes the Gottman Method particularly valuable for high-achieving professionals is its practical, skills-based approach. Rather than endless sessions exploring feelings (though that has its place), the Gottman Method provides actionable strategies that busy executives and entrepreneurs can implement immediately.
The Four Pillars of a Healthy Relationship
The Gottman Method identifies four key components that create the foundation for a successful relationship. I've found these particularly relevant for my clients who are balancing demanding careers with their personal lives:
1. Build Love Maps
For busy professionals, it's easy to lose touch with your partner's inner world. Building Love Maps means staying current with each other's stresses, hopes, joys, and values—even when your calendar is packed with meetings.
One CEO client shared: "I realized I knew everything about my company's quarterly goals but couldn't name my wife's current work challenges. Learning to prioritize regular check-ins about her life has completely changed our connection."
2. Share Fondness and Admiration
The antidote to criticism and contempt is cultivating a culture of appreciation. This is especially important for achievement-oriented individuals who may unconsciously bring a performance evaluation mindset home.
Expressing specific appreciation—"I admire how thoughtfully you handled that discussion with our son"—creates a buffer of positivity that helps relationships withstand stress and conflict.
3. Turn Toward Instead of Away
Small moments of connection matter more than grand gestures. The Gottman research shows that successful couples "turn toward" each other's bids for connection 86% of the time.
For entrepreneurs and executives who are constantly making decisions, simply putting down the phone when your partner speaks or asking a follow-up question can make the difference between connection and distance.
4. Maintain a Positive Perspective
When we're stressed, it's easy to view our partner's actions through a negative lens. The Gottman Method helps couples maintain a positive perspective, even during difficult times—a skill that translates well to the business world too.
The Gottman Method for High-Achievers: Why It Works
As someone who has walked in both the corporate and family business worlds, I've tailored my Gottman-based approach to address the unique challenges facing high-performing professionals:
Managing Stress Together
Research shows that 69% of relationship problems are perpetual—they won't be "solved" but can be managed. This parallels what many executives already know about business challenges, making the concept accessible. The Gottman techniques provide clear methods for navigating these ongoing issues without becoming overwhelmed.
Efficient Communication
The Gottman Method teaches specific communication protocols that help couples express needs clearly and resolve conflicts effectively—perfect for time-pressed professionals who value efficiency.
Data-Driven Approaches
For analytical minds, the research-backed nature of the Gottman Method provides credibility. These aren't just nice ideas; they're strategies proven to work across thousands of couples.
Work-Life Integration
Rather than the elusive "work-life balance," I help couples achieve work-life integration, where success in one area supports rather than detracts from the other.
How Gottman Techniques Help Professional Couples Thrive
Let me share how Gottman techniques have helped some of my clients (with details changed for confidentiality):
The Tech Entrepreneur Couple Sarah and James both ran successful startups, but their relationship was suffering from competing priorities and poor communication. Using Gottman tools, they created structured "State of the Union" meetings each week—applying their business planning skills to their relationship. Within months, they reported not just a happier marriage but improved leadership at work as their emotional intelligence grew.
The Corporate Executive and Family Business Owner Michael (CFO at a major corporation) and Linda (who ran her family's third-generation business) struggled with resentment over whose career took precedence. Through Gottman exercises focusing on shared meaning and life dreams, they developed a unified vision for their future that honored both paths. Their newfound ability to support each other's ambitions strengthened both their marriage and their respective leadership roles.
Bringing Mindfulness to Your Relationship
As my clients know, I believe in integrating mindfulness with relationship work. The Gottman Method complements this beautifully by emphasizing present-moment awareness during interactions. When you're truly present with your partner—even for just fifteen minutes a day—you create space for meaningful connection despite busy schedules.
Remember, you have 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts racing through your mind daily, and 95% of those thoughts are repetitive! By developing awareness of these thought patterns, you gain the freedom to choose how you respond to your partner rather than reacting automatically.
Your Next Steps
If you're an executive, entrepreneur, or part of a power couple seeking to strengthen your relationship while maintaining your professional momentum, I invite you to explore how the Gottman Method can transform your connection.
As someone who understands both the boardroom and the living room, I'm passionate about helping you create a life where both your business and relationships flourish together. You don't have to choose between professional success and personal fulfillment—with the right tools, you can create a life of meaning and connection in both domains.
To learn more about how Gottman-based couples therapy might help your specific situation, I invite you to schedule a consultation. Together, we'll explore practical, evidence-based approaches to help you and your partner thrive—both individually and as a couple.
Dr. Lori Runge is a relationship therapist in North Texas specializing in couples counseling for executives, entrepreneurs, and power couples. With a background as an SVP in the corporate world and experience in family business, she combines professional expertise with therapeutic training to help high-achievers build stronger relationships. As a Gottman Certified therapist (Level I and II), she offers evidence-based approaches tailored to the unique challenges of busy professionals across Frisco, McKinney, Plano, and the Dallas-Fort Worth area.
