5 Signs Your Relationship Needs Couples Therapy
Can you remember the last time you and your partner felt truly connected—not just coexisting in the same space, but genuinely present with each other? When was the last conversation where you both felt heard, understood, and valued?
If you're struggling to answer these questions, you're not alone. Many couples in McKinney, Frisco, and throughout North Texas find themselves caught in patterns that leave them feeling disconnected, frustrated, or simply going through the motions of their relationship.
As a licensed marriage and family therapist with over two decades of experience—including years as a senior executive before dedicating myself to helping couples thrive—I've worked with hundreds of partners who waited far too long to seek support. They believed therapy was only for relationships "in crisis," or they hoped things would magically improve on their own.
But here's what I've learned: The most successful couples aren't the ones who never struggle—they're the ones who recognize when they need support and have the courage to ask for it.
Let me share five signs that couples therapy could transform your relationship, not because something is broken, but because you deserve something better.
Sign #1: The Same Conversations Keep Happening (And Nothing Changes)
Do you find yourself having the same argument over and over again? Perhaps it's about household responsibilities, how you spend time together, financial decisions, or how you communicate with each other's families. The topic might vary, but the pattern feels achingly familiar—the same feelings, the same defenses, the same outcome where nobody feels heard.
What's really happening: These recurring conflicts aren't about the dishes, the schedule, or the money. They're about deeper needs that aren't being met or communicated effectively. When we get stuck in these loops, it's because we're speaking different emotional languages without realizing it.
In couples therapy, we create space to understand what's truly underneath these patterns. Through mindfulness-based approaches, you'll learn to pause, recognize the cycle you're in, and choose a different response—one that creates connection instead of distance.
A curious question to consider: What if this recurring conversation is actually an invitation to understand each other more deeply?
Sign #2: You're Feeling More Like Roommates Than Partners
Remember when you couldn't wait to share your day with each other? When physical affection felt natural and easy? When you laughed together regularly?
If your relationship now feels more functional than fulfilling—like you're managing a household together but missing the intimacy, playfulness, and connection that once defined your partnership—this is a significant sign that couples therapy could help.
What's really happening: Life has a way of pulling us into "DOING" mode—managing careers, children, finances, and responsibilities. Before we know it, we've lost the art of simply "BEING" together. The relationship becomes another item on the to-do list instead of a source of joy and renewal.
My work with couples often focuses on helping partners rediscover each other beneath the roles they play. We explore how to create moments of genuine presence—where you're not just in the same room, but truly WITH each other.
A curious question to consider: What would become possible if you approached your partner with the same curiosity and attention you brought to your early days together?
Sign #3: One or Both of You Feels Consistently Unheard or Misunderstood
Have you stopped sharing important thoughts or feelings because it doesn't seem worth the effort? Do conversations feel like debates you need to "win" rather than opportunities to understand each other?
When partners repeatedly feel dismissed, invalidated, or misunderstood, they often begin to withdraw—emotionally first, then physically. This protective distance might feel safer in the moment, but it creates exactly the disconnection both partners fear most.
What's really happening: Most couples don't have communication problems—they have connection problems. When we feel emotionally safe and genuinely connected to our partner, communication flows naturally. But when that foundation is shaky, even simple conversations can feel threatening.
In my practice, I use mindfulness-based communication techniques to help couples slow down enough to truly hear each other. Not just the words, but the feelings, needs, and hopes underneath. You'll learn that being heard isn't about agreement—it's about feeling valued and understood.
A curious question to consider: What if your partner's perspective isn't wrong, just different—and that difference could actually enrich your relationship?
Sign #4: Life Transitions Are Creating Unexpected Strain
Marriage, a new baby, career changes, relocating, caring for aging parents, empty nest, retirement—major life transitions can reveal cracks in the foundation of even strong relationships. What worked before might not work now, and both partners can feel confused, overwhelmed, or resentful.
Perhaps one of you received a promotion that requires more travel, or you've started your own business and the work-life boundaries have dissolved. Maybe you're both high-achieving professionals struggling to balance demanding careers with a meaningful partnership. These challenges are especially common among the executives, entrepreneurs, and business leaders I work with in North Texas.
What's really happening: Life transitions require us to renegotiate our relationship—who does what, how we spend time together, what our priorities are. But we rarely have explicit conversations about these shifts. Instead, we expect our partner to automatically adjust while we're also trying to adapt, leading to frustration on both sides.
Couples therapy provides a structured space to navigate these transitions together. We'll explore how to align your individual growth with your relationship's evolution, ensuring you're moving forward as partners rather than drifting apart.
A curious question to consider: What if this challenging season is actually an opportunity to create an even stronger partnership?
Sign #5: You're Staying Together "For the Kids" or Other Reasons—But Feel Increasingly Unhappy
If you find yourself thinking, "We're fine, we just don't fight in front of the kids," or "We have a good life on paper," but deep down you feel lonely, disconnected, or resigned to a relationship that lacks joy—this is perhaps the most important sign that professional support could help.
Children are incredibly perceptive. They learn about relationships by watching yours. When parents model disconnection, resentment, or simple coexistence, that becomes their blueprint for future relationships. Alternatively, when children see their parents working through challenges, communicating respectfully, and choosing connection—they learn resilience and healthy relationship skills.
What's really happening: Many couples convince themselves that "staying together" is enough. But there's a profound difference between staying and thriving. You deserve more than peaceful coexistence—you deserve genuine partnership, affection, laughter, and the feeling that you're truly on the same team.
In my work with couples, I've witnessed countless partners rediscover each other and create relationships far more fulfilling than what they originally had. It's never too late to choose connection over simply surviving together.
A curious question to consider: What relationship do you want to model for your children—or for yourself in the years to come?
What Couples Therapy Actually Looks Like (And Why McKinney Couples Trust This Approach)
I know that reaching out for couples counseling can feel vulnerable. You might worry about being judged, taking sides, or airing your private struggles. Let me offer you a different perspective based on what actually happens in my practice.
Couples therapy is not about:
Finding out who's "right" or "wrong"
Rehashing old arguments
Forcing you to stay together if that's not what's best
Quick fixes or simple solutions
Couples therapy IS about:
Creating a safe space where both partners feel heard
Understanding the patterns keeping you stuck
Learning practical tools for better communication
Reconnecting with why you chose each other
Building emotional intimacy and trust
Making conscious choices about your relationship's future
My approach integrates mindfulness-based techniques with my background as both a therapist and former corporate executive. This means I understand the unique pressures facing high-achieving professionals, entrepreneurs, and busy families in North Texas. Whether you're managing demanding careers, running a family business together, or simply trying to stay connected amid life's chaos—I create a tailored approach that honors your specific needs.
The Question Many Couples Ask: "Isn't It Too Late?"
I'm often asked: "Should we have come in sooner?" or "Is it too late for us?"
Here's what I've learned after decades of this work: It's never too early to invest in your relationship, and it's rarely too late if both partners are willing to show up.
The couples who benefit most from therapy aren't necessarily the ones with the "worst" problems—they're the ones who are willing to:
Show up with curiosity rather than defensiveness
Consider their partner's perspective without immediately dismissing it
Try new approaches even when they feel uncomfortable
Practice what they learn between sessions
Stay committed to the process, even when it gets challenging
You don't need to have all the answers or even know exactly what you want. You just need to be willing to explore what's possible together.
Taking the First Step: What Happens When You Reach Out
I know that making the call or sending that first email can feel daunting. You might be wondering: Will my partner agree to come? What if therapy makes things worse? How long will this take? What if we're too different to make it work?
These concerns are completely normal, and we'll address them together.
When you contact me for couples counseling in McKinney, here's what you can expect:
Initial Consultation: We'll start with a conversation about what's bringing you in and what you hope to achieve. This is your opportunity to ask questions, share your concerns, and determine if we're a good fit.
Creating Safety: My first priority is ensuring both partners feel safe, respected, and heard in our sessions. This isn't about taking sides—it's about creating a space where honest, vulnerable conversation becomes possible.
Developing Your Roadmap: Together, we'll identify the patterns keeping you stuck and develop practical tools you can use immediately. Change doesn't happen only in my office—it happens in the moments between our sessions when you choose connection over old habits.
Measuring Progress: We'll regularly check in on what's working and what needs adjustment. You'll notice shifts in how you communicate, how you understand each other, and how you navigate challenges together.
You Deserve to Feel Connected, Understood, and Truly Partnered
Can you imagine what your relationship could feel like if:
You could discuss difficult topics without them escalating into arguments?
You felt genuinely heard and valued by your partner?
Physical and emotional intimacy felt natural again?
You approached challenges as a team rather than adversaries?
You both felt hopeful and excited about your future together?
These aren't fairy tale fantasies—they're the realistic outcomes I see regularly when couples commit to this work.
Your relationship deserves more than autopilot. You deserve more than "fine." And seeking support isn't a sign of failure—it's a sign of wisdom, courage, and commitment to something better.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If any of these five signs resonated with you, I invite you to reach out. Whether you're in McKinney, Frisco, Plano, or anywhere in North Texas, I offer couples therapy that combines evidence-based techniques with mindfulness practices and real-world wisdom from decades of helping relationships thrive.
You don't have to wait until things feel desperate. In fact, the couples who see the most transformation are often those who seek support before they've reached crisis mode.
What becomes possible when you choose to invest in your relationship?
I'm Dr. Lori Runge, a licensed marriage and family therapist in McKinney, Texas. With over 20 years of experience and a unique background that includes senior executive leadership before dedicating myself to helping couples and individuals thrive, I bring both clinical expertise and real-world perspective to my practice.
My approach is rooted in mindfulness, compassion, and the deep belief that you are the expert in your own life—I simply provide the objective guidance and tools to help you uncover your strengths and create the relationship you desire.
Contact me today to schedule your initial consultation. Your relationship's next chapter starts with a single conversation.
Frequently Asked Questions About Couples Therapy in McKinney
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Start by sharing what you've noticed about your relationship and how you're feeling—not as blame, but as an invitation to work together toward something better. Many partners are more open than we expect when approached with curiosity rather than criticism. If your partner is hesitant, I'm happy to speak with both of you about what therapy involves and answer any concerns.
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Every couple is unique. Some see significant shifts within 8-12 sessions, while others benefit from longer-term support. We'll regularly assess progress and adjust our approach based on your needs and goals.
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Yes! While I specialize in couples counseling, I also work with individuals who are navigating relationship challenges, life transitions, stress, or personal growth. Sometimes individual therapy is the right starting point before couples work, or it can complement couples therapy.
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That's completely okay. Couples therapy can help you gain clarity about your relationship's future. Whether you ultimately decide to recommit and rebuild or to separate respectfully, having professional support makes either path healthier and more conscious.
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My practice operates on a private-pay basis, which means I don't bill insurance directly. This allows us complete flexibility in our work together without insurance company limitations. Many clients find that the investment in their relationship is one of the most valuable they make.
