Understanding Family of Origin Therapy: How Your Past Shapes Your Present
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of an argument with your partner, using words or a tone that sounds eerily like one of your parents? Or perhaps you've noticed yourself avoiding conflict entirely, even when something really matters to you—just like you learned to do growing up?
These moments aren't coincidences. They're invitations.
Invitations to explore something profound: the family of origin patterns that continue to shape your relationships, your reactions, and your sense of self—often without you even realizing it.
I'm Dr. Lori Runge, and in my work with individuals and couples throughout North Texas, I've witnessed the profound transformation that happens when we bring gentle awareness to these deeply rooted patterns.
What Is Family of Origin Therapy?
Family of origin therapy is a compassionate approach that helps you understand how the family system you grew up in continues to influence your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and relationships today. Your family of origin includes the people who raised you—parents, siblings, caregivers, and extended family members—and the unique dynamics, values, and patterns that shaped your early life experience.
Rather than placing blame or dwelling in the past, this therapeutic approach provides you with awareness—and with awareness comes the FREEDOM to choose how you want to show up in your relationships now.
How Does Your Family of Origin Impact You Today?
From the moment we're born, our family of origin becomes our first classroom. We learn:
How to communicate (or not communicate) our needs and feelings
What love looks like and how affection is expressed
How to handle conflict and navigate disagreements
What roles we play in relationships (the peacemaker, the caregiver, the problem-solver)
Our core beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world around us
Patterns of behavior that feel automatic and familiar
These early lessons become deeply embedded—so much so that 95% of our daily thoughts are the same repetitive patterns we've carried since childhood. When you have awareness of these patterns, you gain the power to acknowledge, accept, or disregard them. The mind no longer has control—YOU do.
Common Family of Origin Patterns
Many of my clients in McKinney, Frisco, Plano, and throughout North Texas discover they've been unconsciously repeating patterns from their family of origin, such as:
Communication styles: Perhaps you learned that expressing feelings led to conflict, so you now avoid difficult conversations with your partner
Attachment patterns: The way your caregivers responded to your needs shapes how you connect (or disconnect) in adult relationships
Conflict resolution: If anger was frightening in your childhood home, you might shut down or people-please when disagreements arise
Roles and expectations: The role you played growing up (the responsible one, the rebel, the invisible child) often follows you into adulthood
Beliefs about relationships: Your parents' marriage—whether healthy or challenging—becomes your first blueprint for partnership
What to Expect in Family of Origin Therapy
In our work together, whether you're coming for individual therapy or couples counseling in McKinney, I create a safe, nonjudgmental space where you can:
Explore Your Story with Curiosity
We'll gently examine your family history, not to assign blame, but to understand how your experiences shaped the person you are today. You are the expert in your life—I simply provide objective guidance to help you uncover your strengths and gifts.
Identify Patterns and Connections
Together, we'll notice how patterns from your family of origin show up in your current relationships, your work, your parenting, and even your relationship with yourself. This awareness is transformative.
Develop New Ways of Being
Once you can see these patterns clearly, you have the freedom to choose differently. You can STOP ruminating about past hurts and begin a new way of BEING in your life rather than DOING your life on autopilot.
Build Your Toolbox
I'll provide you with practical mindfulness-based tools and strategies that allow you to respond rather than react, to choose your path rather than repeat old patterns, and to live with greater presence and peace.
Family of Origin Work for Couples
Family of origin therapy is especially powerful for couples. When two people come together, they bring two entirely different family systems—two sets of learned behaviors, expectations, and communication styles.
In couples counseling, we explore:
How your family backgrounds influence your relationship dynamics
Why certain triggers feel so intense (they're often rooted in old wounds)
How to communicate your needs in ways your partner can truly hear
How to break cycles you don't want to pass on to your children
How to create a new, conscious partnership that honors both of your stories
Many couples in Frisco, McKinney, and Plano discover that understanding each other's family of origin creates profound empathy and connection. You begin to see your partner's reactions not as attacks, but as protective patterns learned long ago.
The Freedom of Awareness
Our thoughts can be pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral—but once you no longer label them as "good" or "bad," they lose their power over you. The same is true for patterns from your family of origin.
When you stop judging yourself for repeating old behaviors and instead approach them with curiosity and compassion, everything shifts. You're no longer trapped by your past—you're informed by it, but free to choose your present.
Living in the Present Moment
It is my passion to help co-create a plan that allows you to live the life you desire—to be present in your life moment by moment. You can unlock yourself from living in the past (ruminating about what happened) or the future (worrying about what might happen), and instead choose to embrace the present moment.
Your productivity, energy, and creativity will expand exponentially once you choose to let go of DOING and start BEING.
Is Family of Origin Therapy Right for You?
Family of origin therapy can be profoundly helpful if you:
Find yourself repeating relationship patterns that don't serve you
Feel stuck in old roles that no longer fit who you are
Experience intense emotional reactions that seem disproportionate to the situation
Want to understand why you struggle with boundaries, communication, or intimacy
Are preparing for marriage and want to understand what each partner brings
Are navigating life transitions (becoming a parent, losing a parent, career changes)
Want to break generational cycles and create healthier patterns for your children
Begin Your Journey to Freedom
You deserve to live your best life NOW—not someday, not when circumstances change, but right now, in this very moment.
If you're ready to explore how your family of origin may be influencing your present-day relationships and discover the freedom that comes with awareness, I'm here to support you.
As a therapist in McKinney and Frisco specializing in mindfulness-based approaches, I work with individuals and couples throughout North Texas—including Frisco, Plano, Prosper, and the greater Dallas-Fort Worth area—who are ready to stop answering to old patterns and start living with intention, presence, and peace.
Can you remember the last time you felt at peace with yourself and the world around you?
That peace is available to you. Let's discover it together.
Dr. Lori Runge, PhD, LMFT
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Serving McKinney, Frisco, Plano, and North Texas
Schedule your consultation today and begin your journey toward greater awareness, freedom, and presence in your relationships and your life.
